Quiet in the Museum!

"Greetings, Sweet Jazz Museum! We're the BANZAI BLASTERS! And we're here to ROB YOU BLIND!!!" "Quiet in the Museum!" is the 1st episode in Season 1 of Epithet Erased, and the 1st episode overall in the series, and the season one & series premiere.

Official Synopsis
12-year-old Molly Blyndeff finds herself trapped overnight in the Sweet Jazz City Museum. Now she’s trying to break out on the same night that a group of thieves have decided to break in.

Plot
Molly wakes up in the middle of the night in the Sweet Jazz Museum, where she learns that she has been abandoned by her father during their school trip and that she cannot escape since the doors are locked. Molly comes to the assumption that she must of accidentally stepped on some security lasers and that she must turn herself in. But just before she does, a group of thieves calling themselves the "Banzai Blasters" burst in unannounced and tell her that they are going to rob the museum blind.

We flashback to a couple hours earlier that same day, where Molly's father is seen embarrassing her in front of her classmates during the school trip. The museum tour guide, Mera Salamin, asks him to quiet down so she can continue with the tour, and gives the class a general explanation of epithets (noting later this is "stuff so basic, it's insulting"). She turns to ask who out of the class has an epithet. Molly's father begins directing attention to his daughter, and she is asked by Mera what her epithet is. Molly tells her that it's Dumb, which is misinterpreted as a dismissal of her abilities. Mera asks if anyone else in the crowd is inscribed, to which Indus Tarbella (the other tour guide) replies enthusiastically and begins showing off his epithet, Barrier. As the class cheers, Molly's dad explains to Molly that she'll be working the night shift at the Blyndeff Toy Emporium (which she had worked the two nights prior), and takes her phone so he can play some games.

Indus tries to keep the kids entertained by telling them about the Arsene Amulet, an epithet-stealing necklace. Mera chides him, mentioning the amulet isn't up for display yet, and tells him to stick to "moving boxes". He obliges, but drops the box of valuable (and sharp) artifacts in his arms, which the kids dogpile onto and try to take the objects. Molly's father joins the dogpile. The commotion and noise begins to overwhelm Molly, so she uses her epithet to drown out the noise and slip out unnoticed. In the hallway, she bumps into Sylvester Ashling, and a strange dust coats her. As she continues to walk past him, she begins to fall asleep. She sleeps past close and her classmates leave... Which brings us back to the episode's opening.

The leader of the Banzai Blasters, Giovanni Potage, gives a very clumsy speech about how they're going to terrorize the museum-goers and he attempts to assert his authority as a "Certified Bad Dude™". Giovanni notices, to his dismay, that no one besides Molly is present in the museum. While he gives a further speech about the dangerous threat his group poses, Molly tries to call the police and report a robbery. Giovanni lobs a "rolling ball of red liquid" at the phone to knock it out of her hands, which Molly deduces is tomato-basil soup. She asks him if his epithet is soup, and Giovanni is embarrassed. Giovanni remarks that he doesn't have time to deal with her, and takes three of his Blasters (Dark Star, Crusher, and Spike) along to find "the vault", while leaving the other three (Flamethrower, Car Crash, and Ben) to watch over Molly (after tying her to a chair with duct tape).

Flamethrower, Car Crash, and Ben begin to bicker, and Indus enters the room unnoticed by them. Molly casts a silence bubble and grabs Indus's attention and asks him to get her out of the chair. He obliges (first by producing a barrier and tapping it against the tape "like a caveman", then is instructed to simply rip the tape), and then resolves to drive the Blasters out of the museum in order to protect Mera. Indus challenges the Blasters to a duel.They accept, and get into a battle-pose formation. The two exchange poses (Indus looking "downright majestic"), and Flamethrower prompts Molly to be the judge of who Posed It Best. Molly chooses Indus, and he takes the first strike, bowling the Blasters over and getting himself lodged in the adjacent wall.

With Flamethrower knocked out, Car Crash and Ben decide to take matters into their own hands. Ben deems himself "Kidpuncher" and makes to attack Molly. She attempts to distract them by throwing a box of thumbtacks across the floor (dubbing them "Dumbtacks"), and it works for a second until Car Crash mentions they can just go around the thumbtacks. When they reach Molly, Indus (still lodged in the wall) encourages her and reminds her to use her Epithet. She uses her epithet lower the intelligence of Ben, making him susceptible to any suggestion or command. Molly convinces Ben that he's a car on the loose, and Ben promptly chases Car Crash down; The two are presumably down for the count. Indus finally dislodges himself from the wall and is informed by Molly that there are still Blasters in the museum premises. He immediately runs off to find them, Molly following close behind.

The episode cuts to Giovanni, Crusher, Dark Star, and Spike confronting Mera in the back room of the Museum. Mera antagonizes the group, noting their lack of forethought; Giovanni is very offended. As Mera continues to heckle the Blasters, they attempt to shoot at her. Their bullets are promptly stopped by Indus, who managed to sneak into the scene quietly thanks to Molly's epithet. Giovanni decides that since ranged attacks are useless, he'll have to get melee-range. He builds up steam, and uses his "Teleports Behind You" attack, making to hit Mera with his "Soul Slugger Doom Bat of Maximum Destruction", but his attack does a trivial amount of damage. Molly appears, explaining that she dumbed down Giovanni's attack so it wouldn't end up hurting Mera. Upon realizing what Molly's epithet is capable of, Mera orders Indus to grab her. She also orders him to get rid of Giovanni, which takes the form of pitching him at his Blasters. Mera and Indus perform a combo attack, with Indus creating a barrier that Mera promptly shatters and buffets the Blasters with; they are promptly knocked unconscious.

The episode ends with Mera announcing that she doesn't want anyone interfering while she robs the museum, and Molly being confused with the events that just transpired.

Characters

 * Molly Blyndeff
 * Percival King (voice)
 * Giovanni Potage
 * Giovanni's boys
 * Martin Blyndeff (flashback)
 * Stink (flashback)
 * Mera Salamin
 * Indus Tarbella
 * Sylvester Ashling (no lines)